The concert for Diana

What an absolutely perfect tribute to the Queen of Our Hearts.  By which I mean it was a hideously dull, marked by inspired and insipid over-reaction to every aspect, was cliched, boring, pointless, pleasant in it's own way, and was promoted entirely to the most irritating people in society.

Surely we could do better to showcase the premier live music venue in the country? Surely we could have provided better acts, a better cause, a better crowd? But no.  The problem with the concert for Diana is that these stadium-benefits happen an awful lot. Every summer we have gazillions of them, and they're all better than this.

Take Live8, a few years back.  That had Snoop Dogg saying "muthafucka" on live telly. That had Pink Floyd.  It didn't have that much elese going for it admiteedly but, hell, those two factors alone made it worth the ticket price (free, if memory serves).  Go abck a few more years and even her Madje's Golden Jubilee concert at the palace seemed to carry more of a sense of occasion than this turgid musical muck.  At least that had Brian Wilson looking bewildered, and taunted Phil Collins by allowing him onstage and not letting him sing.  Although admittedly, they did let Roger Taylor sing Radio Ga Ga, which is hearly as bad.

What did this have? Well it had potential I suppose. I mean, Kanye West is usually always good value.  Accept here, where he hasn't got the balls to use the word "nigger" despite it being quite proudly displayed in his songs.

It wasn't totally without merit of course.  The 14 year old me, shouting over from 1995, would be mortified to read this, but really, god bless Take That. I mean, how many come back bands can you name who can do this kind of gig, do three songs, and ignore all of their old hits in favour of playing their most recent two singles. That takes class and it takes guts, and it's testimony to skills of one of the most well executed musical come backs ever.  

Okay yes, musically they used to be camp and vaguely fun, and now they're a bit bland and for your Mum, but the principle is sound.

And then I supposed there was Dame Elton, god bless 'im, and his band of very middle aged men who looked like a group of Dad's performing at an unfortunate cousins wedding.  At least he picked his set quite nicely, you can't really argue with 'Your Song', 'Saturday Nights Alright For Fighting' gets by on gusty glam alone, and 'Tiny Dancer' will always be favoured if only for its association with 'Almost Famous' and Ben Folds.  At least the old fruit had the decency not to wheel out Candle In The Wind '97.  Actually won back some respect there. No sign of hispartnerdavidfurnish though.

From a TV point of view this was turgid nonsense too.  The shots were uninspiring, the set was uninspiring, the presenting was uninspiring (forgive me Fearne, you tried your best). For a show meant to be, well, inspiring, it really didn't try very hard.  Quick cuts to the Princes in their box were pointless and sycophantic,  lingering glances of Kate Middleton mouthing along to 'Back For Good' (yes, she was there, we get the significance okay!) were distracting and only a brief appearance from Gillian Anderson created a stir of interest.

The whole thing was so hideously lowest common denominator, that may as well have opened a Morrisons on the way out.

Frankly you were far better off, as I did, turning over and watching Chris Addison and Will Smith riffing at each other gloriously in the Thick of It.  Which I did, although thanks to Elton I missed the gag about the iPod.